50 Ways a Non-Custodial Parent Can Be Supportive | Eryn Amel
Eryn Amel is a writer and business woman who recently took to her instagram with a post that I knew I needed to share with you guys. I know that my readers for the most part are women navigating motherhood alone, or have the larger percentage of responsibility in their children being raised. This list is everything we have ever wanted out of our no longer significant others.
You can find an array of products from t-shirts to books for sale on Eryn’s website by clicking here or follow her on IG by clicking here.
Her caption reads as follow:
Sitting here Shifting. your children do not deserve your excuses. I’ve heard them all.. and Honestly instead of ingesting the angst i feel with my own co parent. I started thinking about 50 Ways a non custodial parent can support a child/ custodial parent without being “present”
1. Call/ check in daily.
2. Sign up for school updates/ newsletter for scholastic updates and school closings.
3. Inquire about their friends/ family members who assist and care for them.
4. Check in monthly for their clothing/shoe sizes
5. Send them care packages.
6. Call them at bedtime and tell them a story.
7. Set weekly “play dates” where you bond by doing the same thing at the same time.
8. Uber Eats them their favorite dinner on occasion.
9. Ask your co parent for scheduled updates on their advancement.
10. Only make promises if you can keep them.
11. Ask relatives who live close to step in on your behalf.
12. Create a personal savings account for them.
13. Create a living will and testament with them in mind.
14. Tell them the truth about your absence.
15. Write them a letter.
16. Schedule a meet up on your “off” week/weekend.
17. Work on their homework via FaceTime one day a week.
18. Pick a day every season to have lunch with them at school.
19. Create a song together.
20. Take their siblings on a play date.
21. Establish your own relationships with their teachers : caregivers.
22. Give your child space to be transparent about your absence.
23. Send them flowers.
24. Teach them a hobby you enjoy and give them “homework” on how to study it.
25. Commit to understanding their daily routine.
26. Build a cordial relationship with the stand in “step” parent.
27. Without emotionally dumping, tell your children how your day was. Show them how to communicate openly.
28. Pray together.
29. Send them photos of their extended family and explain the relationship between them.
30. Remember to always let love lead your conversations.
31. Suggest a FaceTime movie night
32. Pay an utility bill in the custodial parents house.
33. Speak encouragingly of your custodial parent. Even if you don’t always sympathize. (To be continued in the comments.35. Send a full calendar year planning a vacation.
36. Send your child back home with clean clothing in their bag.
37. Encourage your custodial parent to call you with good news and not just bad reports.
38. — pick up the phone when they call.
39. check. On. Them. Daily. Or Atleast. Every. Other day.
40. Ask your custodial parent to make an Amazon wish list you could watch and send random helpful things when your finances permit.
41. Plan to Celebrate half birthdays with them.
42. Ask tons of questions. Non related to stressful/ traumatic situations.
43. Laugh with them until you cry.
44. Create a morally enriching story with them that will comfort them on their journey in the event you can’t.
45. Apologize for their feelings and do so any chance you get.
46. Validate and rally behind your children even when you don’t understand them.
47. Be the support system you wish you had.
48. Take care of your mental health. Children do not deserve an ill parent.
49. Make peace with their process.
50. Never forget to tell them you love them. They may not believe you now. But they won’t be able to claim you never said it.
What hit the hardest for me was number one. My biggest gripe with my daughters father has always been not understanding how he can go days and days without knowing what’s going on with his child. A daily check in would make me feel as though there’s a daily requirement of him as a parent and might lessen the resentment I still harbor towards him.
I wish I could send these to my daughters father directly but I know he would not receive them well. So instead, I’m sharing them on my platform in hopes that someone else will see them and it will help them feel not alone in wanting these things or spark the movement in someone who needs to do these things.
Which one of these fifty actions resonated the most with you? Whether it be things you would appreciate being done, or things you know you can start doing as a non-custodial parent?
xoxo,
Jessica Rose