I Don't Regret My Abortion
There have been two times in life that I was pregnant -each time I made a different choice.
Life comes with plenty of uncontrollable circumstances. The things that we can control and make choices about are what gives us freedom. However, it’s starting to feel like in America freedom is not really ours at all. Maybe it has always just been an illusion. Especially for women.
A few days ago Alabama Governor Kay Ivey signed into law something titled the Human Life Protection Act. The act is so blatantly ridiculous that even Tomi Lahren isn’t fully supportive of it.
In summary, the bill criminalizes abortion-performing as a felony in almost any scenario you can think of. Yes, even rape or incest. The only time the termination of a pregnancy would be permissible is if it was considered a life-threatening situation to the mother.
I've seen lots of quotes and memes about how awful it would be to be raped and then have to carry and birth your rapist's child. Pscyhologically, that is some fucked up shit. As someone who has been a victim of sexual assault more than once in my life, I still can not imagine the pain of that.
I'd like to shift the narrative off of only the extreme situations to give space to consensual sexual acts leading to unwanted pregnancies. Can it sometimes be irresponsible? Sure. Taking precautions and or abstaining from sex completely helps in preventing these decisions from needing to be made. That still does not justify taking away a womans decision completely.
Becoming a mother is one of the most challenging and scary things in the world for some people. When I had my abortion Nylah was two years old and I knew that there was no way that I would survive doing it again. I was a month away from living in my best friends living room, didn't have a car and the pregnancy was the result of finding myself once again too familiar with her father.
I knew I was pregnant about 5 weeks after I conceived and there wasn't a second thought. I knew what I needed to do, what I wanted to do. I scheduled my appointment at Planned Parenthood despite Nylahs fathers pleas and my best friend drove me through the line of women and men with signs outside screaming at us to re-consider before I walked into the building.
I remember feeling scared, but when it was over I was flooded with relief. I know this is not every woman's experience. I sat in a room afterward with women who wept silently to themselves and all I could hope was that they did what they did because THEY wanted to.
I'm a very emotional person and I have never shed a tear about my choice. Maybe a few upon realizing that I had once again placed myself in an unfortunate circumstance, but there has never been a regret.
Seeing the #shoutyourabortion posts across my timeline inspired me to share my story because so many other women were too. I hope that in sharing this I am adding to the normalization of all of the choices we make in life including abortion.
I believe that if I would have had carried that pregnancy to full term I would have been being selfish. I still don't have the means to give Nylah the attention and nurturing she deserves 24/7 and until I can do that I will not consider adding another life into ours.
You have the right to keep your baby or not have a baby. No one has a right though, to tell you which one to do.