Five Annoying F*cking Toys
What better way to step back into my blogging journey rather than talking about some motherhood things that annoy me. To be specific, Nylahs toys.
To the surprise of I'm sure, nobody, all of these toys that get on my mothaf*ckin nerves were all gifts from family and friends.
Club Petz Lucy The Dog
This is a small plush interactive dog that Nylah fell in love with when she got it for Christmas around the age of two. The dog responds to voice commands such as "sit" and "eat" - in total there are 15 commands. The only problem is if you are not a grown ass man with a deep voice, Lucy doesn't do much responding. I usually had to scream at the top of my lungs, in my deepest voice, to get Lucy to do a damn thing. This became frustrating for Nylah as she wanted to be the one Lucy responded to. She would try and try again, but her little squeeky voice never stood a chance. Eventually, at 4 years old, she was getting the hang of it, but then the batteries died. They have not been replaced because ever so often the dog would bark in the middle of the night and it scared the shit out of me.
Barbie Dream House
I should have known me and this house were not going to get along well when it nearly fell out of my trunk on the way home from, of course, Grandmas house on Christmas. This thing literally comes with a thousand god damn pieces. There are so many pieces that I made a ziplock bag full of barbie ice trays, cups, and flower pots that will never be opened. These are all also the kinds of pieces you step on in the middle of the night and really question why you had a child. Don't get me wrong, Nylah loves her Barbie house and plays with it frequently. The thing is just huge. Like, we live in a studio. This is easily taking up what could be space for a small couch or even wine storage. Ha!
Spirit Riding Free Deluxe Friendship Set
So I lied earlier. I said everything here was a gift but once I got to this item I remembered I purchased it. We were in Target per usual and I was letting Nylah pick a toy. I was insisting on her getting the regular ass horse but then this other kid picked out this one and then Nylah had to have it too so I gave in. It's based on a Netflix original series she watches called Spirit and it came with the horse, it's owner barbie girl ( cause I don't know old girls name ) and a bunch of carrots. Yup, this was a special horse because you could put these little carrots inside of it's mouth and it would gobble them down in between really loud "NAYYYYYS". This shit was FIFTY DOLLARS. That was fifty dollars I wish I still had when I didn't know how I was going to pay rent this month! To make it even worse, when I was looking up the specific name of the toy to draft this post I saw Target now has it on clearance for half the price. The best part is Nylah somehow got the tail of the horse into the mouth of the horse and it swallowed the hair and broke the whole damn thing. ON THE SAME DAY I BOUGHT IT. I don't even have a photo of her with it because I let her take it over to her Grandmas house so it could rest in peace away from me.
Growing up I loved playdoh because I was a problem child and liked the way it tasted. I caught Nylah eating it once while driving on the 101 and I turned around to snatch it from her and rear-ended someone. It also gets everywhere and feels like glass when its dry. Then there is the fact that my anxiety would prefer Nylah to atleast keep the colors in the appropriate jars and not mix them together. All of our playdohs are the same multi-color of hell. It's a longstanding joke between me and my mother to send her back and forth with as much of it as possible. I hate Playdoh.
Lori Go Everywhere! Convertible Car
This toy is ultra f*cking annoying because it has an FM radio built in and the batteries never die. While I did find it amusing the first few times Nylah was driving her Barbies around to Power 106 with the Migos slapping better than in my bucket, Nylah is also totally ok with it sitting on no station just blaring loud static. It's also pretty difficult to clean because it has a bunch of crevices that my clorox wipes struggle to get to so it always looks a little raggedy....just like mommies car! THROW THE WHOLE BARBIE CAR AWAY PLEASE.
& that's it ya'll. I just wanted to come & complain about some mom-related things real quick. Comment below what toy your kid has that irritates the f*ck out of you!
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