I'm Not A Vegan I Just Kale A lot

It was a rough fucking day for me, so here we were. Me and Nylah sitting in a six-seater booth at Olive Garden ready for endless breadsticks and pasta.

Little did I know my period was 2 days shy of staining a nice pair of underwear and that this restaurant pop up and chin acne was all due to mother nature. 

The only thing in that moment that felt unnatural was telling the waiter I didn't want the croutons on the salad because per google, they were not vegan. 


So I did, I ate the croutons. I didn't put cheese on my pasta and there was no meat in sight, but I ate the not vegan croutons. 

I am no longer going to tell anybody that I am "vegan". 

Identifying who I am as a person by a diet is draining. I refuse to let this continue to dictate my life and make it an uncomfortable experience for me everywhere I go. 

Hang me if you want but I am just not that passionate about the animals.

I have done enough research to know that animal meat and its by-product are bad for you. Eating the flesh of another living creature still completely grosses me out and I can't believe I did it for so long. 

I also realize and acknowledge the adverse health effects of dairy and opt to keep that out of my diet as well.

Despite my efforts to enhance my health by changing the things that are so typical in the standard American diet, I have had some pretty negative experiences.

There is no eye roll stronger than the ones I had become accustomed to seeing after mentioning the fact that I was vegan.  

I get it, it's a wave right now. Still, what I've never understood about waves, are the almost identical other waves of being a hater that accompany it.  For every "I'm Vegan too" there was a "Not another one" phrase being said and it's was annoying as fuck. 

During the past few months, I have had more fruits and vegetables than I have ever had in my lifetime.

My daughter has become accustomed to and IN LOVE with green smoothies for breakfast.

Plus, I lost around 25 pounds from changing my diet ALONE. 

Sure- I found every bad "vegan" hack in the book: Red Bull, Oreos, FRENCH FRIES.

However, I made a significant enough switch in my diet that I could still FEEL the difference of the change. 

Regardless moving forward, call me plant-based.

You know what, scratch that, don't call me anything. I, am a person, therefore I, can not be a diet.

So put extra croutons on the salad and I do not give a fuck about the fish gelatin in the wine. 

Good day.