Kick Ass Mom Of The Month - Kathy!
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of sitting down with my good friend Kathy.
She was one of the very first people that came to mind when I had the idea to feature mothers monthly on my blog.
Kathy is a kick ass nurse, a kick ass mother of three, a kick ass wife, and still balances all of that with her creative pursuits on the side. Talk about an inspiration!
I can't forget to mention that the two youngest of her children are TWINS. Yup. Three kids is hard enough, but this lady grew two whole ass babies at the same god damn time. That's pretty bad ass if you ask me.
Kathryn Clarke, a twenty-eight year old LVN working and living in Palmdale, CA has a nine year old daughter Jaydn, and two one year old twins London and Taylor.
When Kathy completed high school she was expecting her first born. In her transition into motherhood and becoming acclimated to life with child, it took her longer than expected to dive back into school.
Eventually in 2013 she made her way back, and then after completing her first term realized that financially she could not put all of her efforts into school. Although she was involved with her now husband Aaron Clarke, it was still a fresh relationship in which they were not established enough to be dependent on one another for family and life support situations.
After a six month break, it was actually Aaron who gave Kathy the push to go back and pursue the career that she had always had interest in, especially after her experiences with hospice before the passing of her grandmother.
Kathy has plans of furthering her nursing skills by obtaining her AA degree and beyond, and plans on utilizing resources like online classes so she can keep kicking ass while being such a hands on mommy.
Now a days her interest gravitate towards labor and delivery nursing, and she even plans on doing some midwife work in the future.
At the tender of age of eighteen years old, Kathy remembers feeling pressured by nurses to get an epidural and C-section when she did not want to. That really fuels her fire behind becoming the type of support women need in the delivery room that is currently lacking.
With her already being an LVN, Kathy has the opportunity to participate in bridge programs that will allow her to complete the degrees she wants to at an accelerated pace. We can't wait to see her do that here at She Really Had A Baby, because there is a guaranteed celebration party that will follow. Outside of being an awesome mother, wife and nurse, Kathy knows how to throw a lit party. Ha!
During the time that she was wrapping up her nursing school, Kathy found herself pregnant yet again.
This time around she graduated successfully with TWO babies inside of her, once again defying the odds of what you can and can not do when expecting a child.
When I sat down with Kathy she revealed to me that while she had completed the course work with her classmates on time, their actual graduation commenced while she was in the hospital in labor with the twins. Talk about good timing!
Doubling back to life before her husband and the twins, Kathy reflects upon the short period of time she spent as a single mother with her first born. She found that the most difficult part of it all was starting over after her separation.
Leaving everything behind to her daughters father, she had to begin from scratch. She had paid off a car once, but now needed another one. Then there was getting herself into her own apartment again. Buying one piece of furniture at a time as her budget permitted she finally was able to turn her house into a home.
When she met her husband Aaron, her daughter was four years old. She recalls it being tough trying to work out exactly what would be the most appropriate time to bring the two together. She says that even Aaron had his reservations about it until they both knew it was a long-term situation that they were expecting from one another.
She says that when they finally did come together, Jaydn gravitated towards him and all was well.
Kathy said that having Aaron around drastically changed the dynamics of juggling a child. Just having an extra body around made things much easier for her.
With her work schedule being late nights and early mornings, just someone being able to take Jaydn to school in the morning took a lot of weight off of her shoulders.
Of course, now bringing two more children into the game after their engagement has changed the dynamic once again.
However, when asked about having even more children, Kathy says no for now but does often find herself having baby fever. Once the twins are in Kindergarten they will consider trying again.
One of the things that Kathy feels is important in her role as a mother, is showing her children what they deserve in life by accepting it herself.
This comes from a place of feeling like she watched her mother accept things she shouldn't have growing up, and in turn that influenced her interactions with men when she was older.
Kathy believes that showing your children consistency and the value in working through your relationships with respect, will put them in the best position for their own relationships in the future.
Kathy sees herself in her children.
With her oldest Jaydn, she sees the intelligence paired with a little bit of perfectionism! She tells a story about how Jaydn had a test that she was devastated about when she got- wait for it, a 99% !
With the twins, she notices that Taylor is more like her father with her hyperactivity, where as London is more laid back and can even make it through an entire movie and stay focused.
When I asked her what makes having twins the most difficult, she said its plain and simple...everything is in twos. Feeding, bathing, and even their diaper changes fall in line with one another.
An issue most parents with new children often face is jealousy. When speaking with Kathy about Jaydyns experience becoming a big sister to two at once, she let me know the twins actually came on her birthday!
Despite having every reason to feel a tinge or two of jealousy, Jaydyn has been hands on with her brother and sister since day one- although she is impartial to diaper changes (I don't blame you girl).
Long after her and her husband are gone Kathy wants all three of her children to know , that most importantly, they will always have each other.
So here is to you Kathy! You are doing a kick ass job at raising these children, tending to your husband and pursuing your dreams. Everything great in life that comes your way is well deserved. Congrats on your career, new home, and all that is soon to come.
Whenever you get a chance please check out a kick ass podcast that Kathy cohosts on, "They Used To Doubt Us" - you can subscribe on iTunes. On the podcast there are four mothers, marginalized women at that, who sit down and discuss their thoughts, opinions and personal experiences throughout the spans of their lives.
If you have any other mothers who's stories you would like to share or honor for kick ass mom of the month, send your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org
See you again soon!