Why Do We Police Women On Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day lovelies! Hopefully as the day is wrapping up you all are ending it surrounded by people you love, who love you back just as much.

Today I worked for the majority of the day and Nylah was with her father doing whatever father daughter things they do every Sunday. Before she gets back to me tonight, I felt it on my heart to get a few things off of my chest.

When holidays come around, or anything mainstream is going on, it seems like everyone on social media is talking about the same thing. I mean, that is basically what the fuck the internet is, right?

Knowing today was Fathers Day there were things I was anticipating. Some of them beautiful things, like all of my friends fine ass daddies. I mean, I would really go for a solid 15 percent of them. 

All jokes aside, seeing people honor their fathers and express how much they love them was awesome! 

Of course, there were a few women I saw who were celebrating themselves and their successes throughout single parenthood. Now at this point some of you are already upset, because how dare women celebrate themselves on a day that is for the fellas. 

Is it necessary to drag people, or call your baby-daddy out today, no it's not. You know what it also isn't though? My god-damn business. 

I have come across people and memes today indicating that people are extremely pressed about women referring to this day as theirs, as if it is discrediting the men who are involved with their kids. It's really not though. What does "Jasmine" from high schools post about playing the role in her children's life that is missing, have to do with your friend who is a single father doing a great job?

Instead of wasting time making status updates about what women should or shouldn't be doing, why don't you go spend time and celebrate the men in your life you feel are deserving. 

I made a personal decision years ago, that most of the people I connect with on the internet are not really my friends and to not take to the internet for any kind of bashing, or extremely emotional venting. Why? Well, I almost always ended up deleting it , making up with that person, and feeling embarrassed that I let hundreds of people in on my personal dramas. 

However, there was release and relief that I found in it. When I would do that, it was usually a combination of obviously wanting to "expose" someone, but mostly feeling extremely depressed and alone. People would even say things that helped to validate my emotions and make me not feel so by myself in the situation. 

I have found other ways now of coping, whether it is journaling or just cursing the person out directly. Ha'. 

Everybody grows at their own pace though, and does things for different reasons. I am not here to judge anyone else, let alone tell another woman when and where she can say something.

The stuff I am seeing people say about these women is ridiculous: 

"PSA: to all the bitter babymamas...we all know fathers day is sunday and we all know you hate your babydaddy...but guess what? we don't wanna see yo bitter asses on our timelines because at the end of the day you need to face the facts. you use to love his ass and you picked him."

This is something very real, that had over 1,000 people cosigning it all over the internet. There are so many different reasons that this makes me sick to my stomach. 

Let's start with the fact that WOMEN are agreeing with this bullshit. 

Do these people realize they are essentially tearing women down because they don't want them tearing men down? It doesn't even make any sense. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions, but to tell a woman that she needs to just deal with the fact that she picked someone and it is also her fault that it didn't work out, is fucking bullshit. As if having a child isn't a two person choice, and that previously loving someone is an excuse to say 'well you should have known he wasn't really going to help'.

All of you women cosigning this stuff is making me want to throw up.

How about everybody minds their business, and lets people do whatever it is that makes them feel better. 

Maybe you really have a friend that you think is doing too much on the internet, why don't you message her your concerns about how she is portraying herself online? But all of these generalized posts about what women can and can't do because it is fathers day...are ignorant as hell. 

Stop policing women. Especially other women. Especially women with no kids in the first damn place. Talk your shit in private if you must, or post your opinion if thats what floats your boat...but please, not at the cost of another woman who felt that today SHE DESERVED something. 

You guys really don't want to see it on your timelines THAT much? It bothers you, THAT deeply? 

Let me tell you something. There are things I see every single day on my timeline that I don't want to:

Photographs that look like you're still using a razor flip phone. 

Pictures of your feet when the second toe is longer than the first one.

Selfies where I can see under your armpits and all of the white ass deodorant under your arms. 

Photos of your food on stovetops that look like they get wiped down once a month.

You talking about how timeless your mother looks, when she looks older than she is. 

Your baby when they're first born. 

Anything referring to all lives mattering. 

Videos of people I know who are broke, flexing about anything. 

People giving me actual full on check-ins about what it is that they are doing every waking second of the day.

You or any of your friends in hospital beds. 

Self recordings of you crying. 

Things that say I will die or find money if I do or don't re-post. 

Donald Trump.

You guys, there is shit everywhere that bothers every single one of us. We all have the option to either give a polite pity like or two and shut-up, or delete what you don't want to see and move on without attacking each other. 

What are some of your thoughts? 

Comment below, or send an e-mail to jessicarose@shereallyhadababy.com